A Romance Writer, Yet Cynical When It Comes To Happy Endings

-I really don't believe in fairy tales and happy endings. I'd rather believe that phoenix and dragons exist. And because I'm cynical when it comes to "lifetime" relationships, I write about them, since I want to make myself believe that true love really do exist.

My parents fight a lot, yell and throw hurtful words at each other and... they really don't love each other. They aren't an ideal couple, like those couples I write in my novels. I really hate it whenever they fight. I would cover my ears, and try so fucking hard to think about the scenes of my manuscripts. That's my escape to reality.

That's probably the reason why I write. I'm afraid to end up with a man like my father.

-The Cynical Daughter

Necklaces And Long Lost Childhood Sweethearts

This is an unofficial trilogy.
The three stories are about long-lost childhood sweethearts who found each other again because of the necklaces that symbolize their love.

LOL.
Natawa ako kasi hindi ko naman talaga pinlano na maging trilogy ito kuno. The first story was supposed to be an independent novel. Pero sabi ng editor ko (thank you po!) ay gawan ko rin daw ng kuwento `yong dalawang couple. At dahil masunuring bata ako *tawa* ginawan ko nga. ^^

These stories are special to me dahil sila ang first college romance (under PHR) ko. Akala ko hindi ko kaya, pero thankful ako at nagawa ko siya. I'm not sure if I can write college love stories again, dahil feeling ko ay hindi ko forte iyon. Nakakawindang.

I think lalabas na ang first book sa August.
Here are the titles:

1. Love, Headbutts And Everything Nice (approved)
-Natutuwa ako sa story na `to kasi ang kulit ng mga bida. Parati silang nag-aaway. The heroine is stubborn, violent and barbaric, while the hero is snobbish, bad-mouthed and hot-headed. Jusmio! They're both rude! Haha. And I had to learn basic German words for this one! (all thanks to Google translator!)

2. Love The Ninja Way (approved)
-Medyo mabilis ang isang ito. Hehe. Ito ang favorite ko sa tatlong story kasi medyo na-challenge ako. Haha. Medyo lang kasi hindi naman nakakawindang ang conflict. `Yong character ng heroine ang naaaliw akong isulat. Ewan ko lang pero mas komportable ako kapag mahinhin at super nice ang girl. But in this story, she had to had a change in character. She's nice pero kinailangan niyang maging makulit, pilya at slightly wicked. Iyong hero naman, playful yet snobbish. One minute he's all over you, then he'll act as if he doesn't know you the next. Actually, hindi ko naisip na magwo-work out ang relationship nila. Ang editor ko lang talaga ang nag-suggest na sila ang ipag-pair. Wala talaga akong kuwentang writer. Haha. Chos!

3. Love Plays Charade (currently working on this one)
-To be honest, nahihirapan akong tapusin ang isang ito. Because in the previous books, I made it look as if their love story is the most beautiful one among the three. Haha! Jusko, kung makabanggit naman kasi ako sa story nila, it was as if the hero took a bullet for the heroine, so I have to justify in this book kung bakit head over heels sila sa isa't isa. And my mind is currently occupied by Riley McDonough! Haha. Kailangan ko ng maraming good luck para sa isang ito. *thump, thump, thump*


I'll post the teasers as soon as the third story is approved (SANA) so wish me luck. Hehe. Thanks. <3

-Luna King

Indifferent Like A Cool Bad-ass Anime/Manga Character!

Kyoya Hibari...
Kaede Rukawa...
Lunch-kun...
Natsume Hyuuga...
Storm Apostol ...

Haha. Wala lang. I just realized I'm attracted to indifferent/cold anime characters. I like them because they are aloof, and they can detach themselves from the rest of the world.

Just like my younger brother. I hate it when our parents compare us. He's younger than I am, but he's smarter. He learns things fast, and he's really smart. He even answered my workbook in College Algebra before, and he was just a high school student then. He can do anything easily. He doesn't study, he doesn't write notes, he doesn't do projects, heck, he's always absent! Yet, he gets good grades. Simply because he gets high scores in final exams. It's unfair since I need to work my ass-off just to maintain my grades.

My brother and I are not that close. We always argue, and we don't talk to each other much. He gets annoyed at me whenever I cry over an anime character dying etc. I get pissed off whenever he outdo me. But he's more matured than I am. Siya ang mas bata pero ako ang parati niyang pinapautang, na hindi ko naman binabayaran. Haha. I steal his food, magagalit siya sa una pero hindi naman niya babawiin. Kapag sa ulam naman, binibigyan pa rin niya ko kahit asar na asar na siya sa katakawan ko. Whenever he's happy about something, he'll always call me. We talk behind our mother's back. Haha! We share secrets, mostly puro kalokohan. When I punch him hard, he'll push me and I'll cry as if it hurts more than me hitting him. But despite all of these, we're not really close. He doesn't even call me 'Ate.' He calls me 'Head' because of my forehead. -____-

I don't know much about my brother. He doesn't talk about his personal life, heck, I think he doesn't even have friends. Kapag nagpupunta kami ni Mama sa school niya, he's always surrounded by the boys in his class, and he radiates a 'Boss aura.' He has this strong commanding aura. And no matter how much I hate to admit it, he's popular with girls! Yes, without exaggerating, he's really popular with girls. As in `yong mga babae pa ang 'nanliligaw' sa kanya. That brat... sheesh. But he's snobbish. He wouldn't even turn his head when you call him.

When we were in high school, pinilit ng parents namin na pagsabayin kami ng uwi para raw tipid sa pamasahe dahil sabay naman ang oras namin ng uwi. But that brat, mapakuwento lang ako sandali sa mga kaibigan ko, iiwan na ko! But whenever we go home together, he always pays for our fare. :) Yep, I remember one time, nagkasabay kami ng gala sa mall, pauwi na ko no'n pero siya hindi pa. Pero pinilit ko pa rin siyang pauwiin para siya magbayad ng pamasahe namin. Taz one time din sa mall, wala na kaming pera ng friend ko, eh gusto naming bilhin ung isang DVD, I saw my brother then I forced him to buy the DVD for me. Oo, mas mayaman sa'kin ang kapatid ko! Haha!

But what I admire most about my brother is his aloofness.

I always wonder kung paano niya nakakayang walang kaibigan. He draws people to him effortlessly, yet he seems not to care about that. Nainggit ako sa pagiging detached niya dahil at least, hindi siya nasasaktan kapag may nawala siyang kaibigan, or minamahal.

Gusto ko ring maging detached minsan sa mga tao para hindi gaanong masakit kapag may nang-iwan sa'kin. `Pag ako kasi naging close sa isang tao, I would want her/him to stay in my life forever. Which is impossible. Because whether we like it or not, people walk in and walk out in our lives. Kapag may dumating na bago sa buhay ko, mamahalin ko sila. Kaya kapag umalis sila, masasaktan uli ako. Ke kaibigan `yan o love life, it has the same effect, parehong masakit.

Sinusubukan kong maging indifferent o detached sa isang tao, but I can't help it. I would always end up selfishly hoping that he/she would let me be a part of hi/her life, the way he/she is a part of mine. I would also end up selfishly hoping that he/she would treasure me the way I treasure him/her. And it hurts to know that sometimes, the people I hold dearly don't feel the same way.

Argh. Another long, dramatic post. But I guess more than half of this one was dedicated to my younger brother. I don't have a brother complex, okay? Haha!

Anyway, here are pictures of my younger brother:

^^

-Chrissa Anne B. Palma

Melancholy Days... Minutes... Er, Occasional Depression? Haha!

This post is too honest. Welcome to the darker side of me. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! (Seriously, I've written my negative thoughts here)

I didn't think about anything that may happen next the moment I started to write a novel seriously.
The 'challenge' doesn't end in receiving an email that said "Your manuscript has been approved...". That's a realization that shook up my whole system.


Honestly, I always knew I'd be a writer someday. Not exactly a Tagalog romance novelist, but since I've read Ms. SoFra's novels, my heart beat fast and the next thing I knew, I'm in love with her books. And that was how my dream to be a writer started.

I was naive, childish, and full of hopes that one day, my books would be published. Iyon lang talaga ang nasa isip ko. Iyon lang ang mind-set ko.

But the moment my first manuscript was approved, things began to change drastically. Rather, something inside me have changed. Alam ko, ramdam ko, iba na talaga. Pero hindi ko pa ma-pinpoint kung ano `yon.

Months later, my first book was published. I was damn happy and excited. Kulang na lang, kaladkarin ko ang mama ko sa Precious Pages. No'n na rin ako na-engganyong magbasa ng pocketbook ng ibang writer. Aminado naman ako na mas magaling silang lahat kaysa sa'kin. Pero minsan talaga, nakaka-depress kasi feeling ko, compared to their works, ung akin, er, readable lang? Haha! Sabi nila, don't compare daw. So, tumigil na ko sa pag-iisip. Ang focus ko na lang, ung sarili ko at ung mga sinusulat ko.

But I would be a hypocrite kapag sinabi kong hindi ako naiinggit sa achievements ng ibang writers. And it was damn hard to erase that negative feeling. Ayoko rin naman no'n, eh. Mahirap. Nakakababa ng confidence. Sobra. I'm always doing my best to improve my writing skills. Always. Kapag down na down ako, iiyak ako at magmumukmok. Hindi talaga ako magsusulat. Then, one day, my mother said to me:

"Bakit umaarte ka? Magaling ka na ba?"

My Mama's words struck me to the core. Grabe, nagising ang diwa ko no'n. I realized na nawala ako sa align. Oo nga. Hindi pa ko magaling, nag-e-emote na ko. So, kapag nade-depress ako, I always tell myself, "Habang umiiyak ka at nag-iinarte d'yan, habang tinatamad kang magsulat dahil sa kalungkutan at insecurity na `yan, hayun ang co-writers mo, doing their best to improve more." Isang buwan akong hindi nagsulat dahil sa pag-e-emote ko, and I realized kung gaano karaming days ang sinayang ko.

Simula no'n, pinilit kong i-focus lang ang tingin ko sa mga gawa ko. There's still a room for me to improve. Hindi pa ko magaling ngayon, pero... er, siguro gagaling din ako someday. Haha! Abangan na nga lang kung kailan. Haha!

Then, readers started to send me messages. I felt like I was in cloud nine because of the encouraging words I've received. Pero kasabay no'n ay naramdaman ko rin ang pressure. I also realized that I don't write for myself, that I just don't write to fulfill my dream. I write to make the readers happy. Kinatakutan ko na yata ang readers simula no'n. Haha!

Alam kong hindi ako kagalingan sa pagsusulat. Light lang ang sinusulat ko, sinusubukan kong magpatawa, pero alam ko corny. Hehe. Kaya kapag may revision ako, bumabagsak ang confidence ko. Ahm... well, ung feeling na pasang-awa lang? Which I know isn't true. Hindi naman papasa ang isang nobela kung hindi iyon nagustuhan ng editor or ng readers, `di ba? It's just that, in the end, ung mga bibili at magbabasa pa rin ng book mo ang judge. You wouldn't want to disappoint them and think that they've only wasted money on buying your book, would you? I know you can't please everyone, pero hindi mo rin naman mapipigilang asamin na magustuhan ng lahat ng babasa ng books mo ang sinulat mo, right?

Ah! Syet! Syet! Syet! I feel sad na naman, because the thing I currently want at the moment, someone has it. Napaisip na naman ako. Why do other people get it easily, while I can't? When it's me, I still have to cry blood before I get a hold of it? Arghhhh! You who read this post might think lowly of me, you might even hate me, but forgive me for showing you my weakness. I hate this part of me, too. I just felt the need to write this down, and to be honest, I actually felt lighter.

Hoho. Hindi talaga bagay sa'kin ang emotera. Anyway, namana ko naman ang pagiging positive ng Mama ko. So, alam ko, ngayon lang `to. I'll get over this melancholy feeling soon. And instead of crying and whining, I'll do my best to get what I want. The thing I want most at the moment? Secret muna. Haha.

Anyway, I'm not jealous of my co-writers... anymore. Tapos na ko sa feeling na un, `no. Haha. In fact, I'm a fan of them. Well, before I became a writer, I was a reader. And I will always be a reader. :)

-Luna King/ Chrissa Anne Palma