Suffocated

I can't breathe. Maybe I'm not really destined to meet people's (mostly strangers!) expectations. I really wanted to do what they tell me to, to change my beliefs, and to even forget who I am so they would somehow find me valuable.

I've been quietly following what they dictate me, because that way, the problem will be solved easier. But like what I told my friend, I'm not happy. I even jokingly said to her that I'm probably in the "rebellious" stage. LOL! Me, a rebel? My friends would probably laugh at me. I'm not saying I'm a nice person, but I've always been a goody-two shoes.

But now... well, I wanna break-free. I want to become the person I wanted to be, not what they wanted to see in me. I know the road is tough, but this is me. *plays Demi Lovato's Camp Rock song*

This is what FINALS do to students! Curse you, finals!

So Freakin' Happy!

The girls I really, really admire in class just gave me their permission to use their names in the series I am cooking up! And I'm too happy to care if my grammar is correct or not! Haha! We, in class, dub these girls as the "F4" female version simply because they are cool, smart and beautiful! Each of them has a unique personality that got me drawn into them. I can't wait to finish writing their stories.

The downside is, I'm too excited I don't know if I can make their story interesting the way I am imagining it in my head. I wanted to do something sexy, but NO. These girls are freakin' angels! So I will go for feel-good with the right amount of depth for each book.

They don't read pocketbooks, but I hope I don't disappoint them!

Yosh! Let's do this!

--- Luna The Fangirl

And She Really Did It

Fvck.

After (over) a long-week negotiation, she still submitted it yesterday. Er, it was awkward. If our instructor happened to read our works, he would surely realize that she and I had almost the same article. Damn! Ni hindi man lang natinag sa pagpaparinig ko. -___-

Three persons were assigned to interview one varsity team and make an article about it. The three of us discussed our "topics" so we could avoid having the same "voice". But my huge mistake was... I sent them a copy of my article so they would know what not to write on their works. Ang nakaka-shock na balita, when I read hers (one of the remaining two in my team, of course) it was... *sigh* I asked her to change her "topic", "view", "voice" but she didn't listen. Oh, well, papel.

Respect, dude. Respect. Not because I'm a "saling-cat" in our class you can already do this to me.

By the way, I didn't rewrite mine because... well, I didn't want her to "win:" but it seems that I lost the battle instead.

Stressful Month/Patama Entry

School has never been this demanding before. For a bum/lazy girl like me, it's hell. Konting kibot lang, nauubos na ang enerhiya ko. My forte is procrastinating but I can't afford to do that anymore. The write-ups we have to finish for our midterms just keep on piling up and I'm about to get drown. But the thing is, school isn't what's dragging me down.

There's an ugly part of me that just won't calm down. I'm easily upset, irritated and hurt. The worse part is, we're talking about the people who are close to me --- or so I thought. It seems that I'm the only one who really cares. C'mon, if you're really my friend, learn how to respect me, dude. I hate confrontations because heated arguments are not helpful. I'm pikon, and I know for a fact that you could easily ask for resbak and I will instantly turn into an ambitious villain. But seriously. I know you know that you did something wrong and something unfair to me. I don't need to tell you that because it's easy to deny it, and it's easy to make it look like I'm just a pathetic insecure b*tch that couldn't match up to you, of course.

I'll stop caring. Do what you want. I don't want to become someone I dislike. Someone like you.

Buzzer Beater Fail!

I'm really shocked, and a little upset.

Remember my post, "Buzzer Beater?" Well, our professor included my name on the list of those who haven't submitted the articles yet. Argh. I hope it's in the spam messages. >.<

Pork Part 2

Procrastination at its best.

*sigh*
I mentioned before that instead of dutifully doing our daily assignment, I make my Sundays a "News Article Marathon". I'm supposed to write summaries of five sports news and five news articles. But after 2 hours of facing my laptop, all I've finished was one sports news summary. Gaaaah. I'm so lazy.

*sigh*
And I overreacted over a certain post in our university group page on Facebook. I kinda feel bad about it. This is why I hate speaking out. I feel guilty and anxious because I'm worried if I hurt someone's feelings. I hope people would look past my "sermon" and see that I'm just concerned about them.

*sigh*

Buzzer Beater!

Haha! I feel triumphant!

Last Thursday, July 4, our class was assigned to cover Marcelo H. del Pilar's 117th Death Commemoration at his shrine and museum in Bulakan-Bulacan. The program was surprisingly interesting, especially with Professor Chua (from the History Department of De La Salle University-Manila) hilarious yet informative discussions. There was even a time when I got teary-eyed as he retold del Pliar's life story, especially the part where his daughter, Anita, said the line: "Lagi na lang bang para sa bayan?"

Gaaah! That was so touching! I guess I'm really a writer because when Professor Chua mentioned that Anita (del Pilar's daughter to his wife) was forced to marry her husband, Vicente. But their children (Anita and Vicente's) later on said that their mother really loved their father. Anita got hysterical when she found out that Vicente was going to fight for our country's freedom. That was when she said the line I mentioned above. I just found it romantic. Anita was afraid to lose her husband the way she lost her father. Yeah, I know. I'm such a hopeless romantic. But seriously, the life story of the del Pilars is very touching.

I wanted to talk about my favorite hero, Andres Bonifacio because I fell in love with him more after what Professor Chua shared during the discussion, but that deserves another post. <3

Anyway, we were asked by our instructor to make a 12-paragraphed long news article about the event. The deadline was today, 3pm. I started writing the article at 2pm. Gaaah! I know! Procrastination at its finest! I though I wasn't going to make it. It was already quarter to 3 but I was still at the eight paragraph. I almost slammed my fingers on the keyboard. Hehe!

But I finished it and sent the article at my prof's email at 2:50! Voila!

So it wasn't really a buzzer beater. I just feel like saying it. LOL.

Pocra... Prosca... Procra... Pork

Procrastinate --- isang salitang hirap na hirap ako bigkasin, pero paborito ko namang gawin. For our major subjects (News and Sports Writing) we were assigned to read one news article and one sports news per day, and make a summary out of them. So, we are required to read broadsheets everyday. But since tamad ako, ginagawa kong marathon ang pagsusulat ng news and sports article every SUNDAY NIGHT, and I am supposed to pass those articles the next day. But... I enjoy it. I enjoy looking for news on the net, scanning them, and analyzing them. Like I said in my post before, sa tuwing ginagawa ko `yon, masyado akong na-a-absorb. Tama na nga. Mahirap i-justify ang pagiging tamad. Haha. -JournalistEverySundayNight-

Brain Drain (Uy, rhyme!)

Natutuyo na ang imagination ko. I've been reading broadsheets since day two of class, because we're assigned to write one news and sports article summary everyday. Since they are my major subjects, I'm determined to give my one hundred percent concentration in school this sem. I may say I don't like Journalism (since I only enrolled in this course because during my time, Creative Writing hasn't been established in our university yet), well, medyo, pero hindi naman ibig sabihin no'n ay ine-neglect ko na lang ang pag-aaral ko. Somehow, I enjoy writing articles, especially if they are features articles. The only part I don't like is researching, which is a no-no since a life of a journalist is composed of researching.

Napansin ko lang na whenever I write a news article, masyado akong nafo-focus sa fact, info, and interviews. Pakiramdam ko, lumiliit ang mundo ko. Unlik kapag nobela ang sinusulat ko, walang limitation. Though kailangan ding maging creative sa news writing para maging catchy ang pagde-deliver mo ng news.

Ahm, actually, gusto ko lang mag-rant na hati na ang oras ko ngayon. Hindi ko na magawang magsulat ng nobela buong gabi dahil kelangan magsulat ng articles. Ayun lang.

:)