If

I don't want to sound insensitive, but I really hate my father right now. He is the main reason why I'm afraid to get committed to someone. He didn't serve as a model for me in any way. I never would want to meet a guy like him. My "ideal man" is based on my uncles (mother side) and never on my own father.

My uncles are very responsible, reliable, and they're just good people. My father is probably the opposite and I am often ashamed to be his daughter.

Yeah, I know some people may say that, "Suwerte ka nga dahil may tatay ka. `Yong iba, wala." And this will probably be my answer: "Masuwerte lang `yong may mga tatay na responsable. Kung may tatay ka nga pero wala ring *halos* silbi sa pamilya niyo at ang nanay mo rin lang ang nagtataguyod sa inyo, believe me, you're better off without a father. I am so lucky that my mother could accomplish both roles to us."

Maybe a time will come that I will regret saying this. But this is how I feel right now. I have lost so many chances in my life because of my father. Alam kong kahit ano pang mangyari, siya pa rin ang tatay ko. But he was the reason why my dreams shattered before. It's hell.

 If only...