Stuff Food In Your Mouth So You Don't Have To Speak

*sigh*
I guess it's really hard for me to say "no" to other people. I feel guilty whenever I try to turn them down. My friends say it's not good for me and I know it really isn't. But I hate asking other people for help because I'm afraid of rejection. Ah, that must be it. I hate rejections so I don't have the heart to reject others.

One more thing, my mama and I had a fight yesterday. Since I was a child, I was taught never to talk back to older people. I believe I was right, and I really wanted to explain my side, but that would mean talking back in the eye of the elders. I was really mad at my mother's irrational decision, and I really wanted to speak out. But whenever I am angry, I prefer to keep my mouth shut and think hard. They say "don't make decisions based on your emotions", I always have that in my mind. I rethink and rethink the possible outcomes once I start voicing out my opinions, especially if I know it could hurt other people. Because of this mind set, I always lose in arguments. Scratch that. Argument doesn't even start because I don't talk when I'm angry or hurt.

*sigh*
In the end, I always end up agreeing to other people's requests even though it's inconvenient for me. And I always end up smiling and even saying sorry to people I had a conflict with. But... I don't regret it. I don't want arguments. I just want everyone to be friendly with each other. Another wishful thinking of mine.

Anyway, I always end up in a fast food chain whenever I am in a bad mood. I'd rather stuff food in my mouth than voice out opinions that may start a misunderstanding.

*sigh*
I need to have a backbone.